Self-nullification brings true closeness

באלוני ממרא שנתן לו עצה על המילה כו' ולמה נכתב זה ומה שבח לממרא שהשיאו למול כי מה איכפת לי'.

"In the plains of Mamre" (Bereishis 18:1) — for he gave Avraham counsel regarding the milah; but why is this recorded, and what praise is it to Mamre that he advised him to circumcise himself, for what did it matter to him?

The Sefas Emes raises Rashi's point that Mamre counseled Avraham to perform the bris milah, and asks why this is praiseworthy, since the matter seemingly cost Mamre nothing.

אך ודאי הבינו כי ע"י המילה שנכרת ברית להיות מיוחד הוא וזרעו להשי"ת להיות נבדל מכל האומות ולזאת לא הסכימו ענר אשכול.

But surely they understood that through the milah, by which a covenant is sealed, he and his offspring would become uniquely Hashem's, set apart from all the nations; and for this reason Aner and Eshkol did not agree.

Mamre's two allies grasped that the bris would forever separate Avraham and his descendants from all other peoples, dedicating them solely to Hashem — and precisely this exclusivity is why Aner and Eshkol withheld their consent.

אבל ממרא האמין כי כך צריך להיות ושאינו כדאי להתדמות אליו והסכים עמו אף שידע שיתרחק עי"ז.

But Mamre believed that this is how it must be, and that he himself was not worthy to be likened to Avraham, and he agreed with him even though he knew that he would thereby be distanced.

Mamre accepted that Avraham's separation was right and that he, Mamre, could not equal him; he endorsed the milah even knowing it would push him further from Avraham's exalted level.

ועי"ז דוקא זכה להתקרב ונגלה בחלקו והי' לו שייכות עי"ז הריחוק עצמו.

And precisely through this he merited to draw near, and the Shechinah was revealed in his portion, and he gained a connection through that very distancing itself.

Because Mamre humbly accepted his own remoteness, he merited that Hashem appeared to Avraham in his territory; his very willingness to be distanced became the means of his closeness.

והוא ללמד לכל איש ישראל שאין אדם יכול לעשות דבר רק ע"י שמתבטל לכלל ישראל.

And this comes to teach every Jew that a person can accomplish nothing except by nullifying himself to the collective of Yisrael (klal Yisrael).

Mamre's example teaches that true accomplishment comes only through bittul — surrendering one's self-importance to the greater whole of klal Yisrael.

וצריך לגמור בדעתו שאם יהי' כבוד שמים יותר בחביריו הוא מבטל עצמו וכל אשר לו.

And one must resolve in his mind that if the honor of Heaven would be greater through his fellows, he nullifies himself and all that is his.

A person should firmly decide that if kavod Shomayim would be better served by his friend's prominence than his own, he gladly sets aside himself and all he possesses.

וע"י זה יוכל למצוא מקום תמיד וז"ש מי שממעט כבוד עצמו ומרבה כבוד שמים כבוד שמים מתרבה וכ' מתרבה והוא כנ"ל:

And through this he is always able to find his place; and this is the meaning of: "Whoever diminishes his own honor and increases the honor of Heaven, the honor of Heaven is increased" — and it says "is increased," which accords with what was said above.

By nullifying himself for the sake of Heaven's honor, a person paradoxically secures his own true place, just as Mamre did. The teaching that "the honor of Heaven is increased" (in the passive) shows that one's self-diminishment causes kavod Shomayim itself to grow.

Summary: Mamre is praised because he counseled the bris milah even knowing it would distance him from Avraham — and through that very self-distancing he merited closeness and the revelation of the Shechinah in his portion. This teaches that a person accomplishes nothing except through bittul to klal Yisrael: by diminishing his own honor for the sake of Heaven's honor, he finds his true place and causes kavod Shomayim to increase.