Accepting hardship with love nullifies the self

בפסוק כמתאוננים רע פרש"י שאמרו כמה לבטנו בדרך כו'.

On the pasuk "like those who complain of evil" (Bamidbar 11:1), Rashi explains that they said, "How we have been wearied by the journey…"

According to Rashi, the people grumbled about the hardship of the travels — feeling burdened and worn out by the way.

אמר אמו"ז ז"ל כי כל החטא הי' מה שלא האמינו כי הוא רק לטובה וחשבו שלרעתם הוא.

My grandfather, my teacher, of blessed memory, said that the entire sin was that they did not believe it was only for their good, and thought it was to their detriment.

The Chiddushei HaRim taught that the real failing was a lapse of emunah: they did not trust that the difficult journey was entirely for their benefit, but imagined it was meant to harm them.

והנה רש"י כתב שהקב"ה נתכוין לטובה שיבואו מהר לא"י וקשה שהי' יכול להוליכם בדרך נייחא כי היפלא מה' דבר.

Now Rashi wrote that the Holy One intended for their good — that they should come quickly to Eretz Yisrael; and this is difficult, for He could have led them by a restful way, for "is anything too wondrous for Hashem?" (Bereishis 18:14).

If Hashem only wished to bring them swiftly to the Land, why through hardship? He surely could have made the path easy.

אך איתא כי א"י זוכין ע"י יסורים ולכן היו מ' שנה במדבר.

But it is taught that Eretz Yisrael is acquired through yissurim (suffering), and therefore they were forty years in the midbar.

Chazal teach that the Land is earned specifically through hardship; the difficult journey was the very means of becoming worthy of it.

אכן אם היו מקבלין זה המהירות באהבה אף שהי' קשה להם ולטורח הי' זה מספיק לנחול הארץ ע"י אלה היסורים וזה הי' הנסיון עכ"ד ז"ל.

However, had they accepted this haste with love — even though it was hard and burdensome for them — that would have sufficed to inherit the Land through these very yissurim; and this was the test. So far his holy words.

The nisayon (test) was whether they could embrace the painful, rushed journey with ahavah. Accepting the hardship lovingly would itself have been the "suffering" that earns Eretz Yisrael.

וכן נראה כי באמת הקב"ה משבח אותם לכתך אחרי במדבר וכ' בתורה לשבח ויש אשר יהי' הענן ימים כו'.

And so it appears, for in truth the Holy One praises them: "your following Me into the midbar" (Yirmiyahu 2:2); and the Torah writes in their praise, "and there were times when the cloud remained for days…" (Bamidbar 9:20).

Hashem Himself lauds Bnei Yisrael for following Him into the wilderness, and the Torah praises their readiness to encamp or journey entirely at the cloud's signal.

א"כ קיבלו גזירת מלך.

If so, they accepted the King's decree.

In practice they did submit to Hashem's command, moving and resting as He directed.

רק כל החטא הי' מה שחשבו שהוא לרעתם וזהו כמתאוננים רע.

Rather, the entire sin was that they thought it was to their detriment — and this is "like those who complain of evil."

Their only failing was the inner attitude: they imagined the hardship was bad for them. That misjudgment is the "complaining of evil."

דכ' משכני אחריך נרוצה.

For it is written, "Draw me, we will run after You" (Shir HaShirim 1:4).

The ideal is to be drawn after Hashem and run after Him eagerly, with longing.

היינו להיות נמשך אחריו ברצון ואהבה.

That is, to be drawn after Him with ratzon (willingness) and ahavah (love).

To follow Hashem not grudgingly but with desire and love.

אפילו שהדרך הוא בטורח ומשא מ"מ מרוב התשוקה לעשות רצונו ית' צריך להיות בטל כל הרצונות של האדם.

Even though the way is full of toil and burden, nevertheless, out of the great yearning to do His will, all of a person's own desires must become nullified.

When a person burns with longing to fulfill the ratzon Hashem, even a hard and heavy path is welcomed, because his personal preferences melt away in bittul before Hashem's will.

כענין שאמרו בטל רצונך מפני רצונו להיות כל רצון האדם בטל בששים ומאה לרוב התלהבות התשוקה לעשות רצונו ית"ש.

This is the matter of what they said, "Nullify your will before His will" (Avos 2:4) — that all of a person's will should be nullified, batel b'shishim u'mei'ah (nullified one part in sixty or a hundred), through the great fervor of yearning to do His will, may He be blessed.

The flame of desire to do Hashem's will should be so overwhelming that one's own ratzon is utterly dissolved within it, like a forbidden taste nullified in sixty parts.

וכן דרשו חז"ל ואהבת כו' ובכל מאודך בכל מדה שמודד לך הוי מודה לו מאוד מאוד.

And so Chazal expounded, "And you shall love… with all your me'odecha" (Devarim 6:5) — with whatever measure (middah) He metes out to you, thank Him very, very much (Berachos 54a).

"All your might" is read as "every measure": whatever Hashem sends, even hardship, one should receive with abundant gratitude and love.

היינו אפילו בעת פורעניות יהי' מלא אהבת ה' כשמתבונן שכך רצונו ית"ש.

That is, even in a time of calamity one should be full of love of Hashem, when he reflects that this is His will, may He be blessed.

Even amid suffering, contemplating that this too is Hashem's ratzon fills the heart with love rather than resentment.

וכשכל תשוקת האדם בעולם רק לעשות רצונו ית' מתבטל ומקבל הכל באהבה ורצון כנ"ל:

And when a person's entire yearning in the world is solely to do His will, may He be blessed, he becomes nullified and accepts everything with love and willingness, as above.

Once the only thing a person craves is to fulfill Hashem's will, his ego dissolves and he greets every circumstance — pleasant or painful — with ahavah and a willing heart.

Summary: The sin of "complaining of evil" was not in the deeds — they did follow the cloud and accept the King's decree — but in the inner conviction that the hard, hurried journey was meant for their harm rather than their good. Had they embraced the hardship with love and yearning to do Hashem's ratzon, that very acceptance would have earned them Eretz Yisrael. True avodah is to nullify one's own will entirely before Hashem's, so that even in suffering one is filled with love, recognizing that all of it is the ratzon Hashem.