The wakeful inner point of generosity

במדרש אני ישנה ולבי ער אני ישנה בחטא עגל והקדוש ב"ה מרתיק עלי ויקחו לי תרומה כו'.

In the Midrash: "I am asleep but my heart is awake" (Shir HaShirim 5:2) — "I am asleep" in the cheit of the Eigel, and Hashem knocks upon me: "Let them take for Me a terumah (offering)…" (Shemos 25:2).

Even while Bnei Yisrael "slumbered" in the sin of the Eigel, their inner heart stayed awake, and Hashem knocked on that heart with the call to bring terumah for the Mishkan.

דהנה כ' מאת כל איש אשר ידבנו לבו.

For behold, it is written: "from every man whose heart moves him to generosity" (Shemos 25:2).

The Torah requests the offering from every person whose heart prompts him to give.

מכלל שיש בכל איש ישראל נדיבות לשמים.

This implies that there is in every Yid a generosity toward Heaven.

The phrasing reveals that every single Yid possesses an innate impulse of generosity toward Hashem.

אף אחר החטא.

Even after the cheit.

This generous point survives even after the sin of the Eigel.

כי מצוה זו הי' על כל איש ישראל.

For this mitzvah applied to every Yid.

The mitzvah of terumah was directed at each and every person, showing it lies within reach of all.

ובאמת נקודה זו נאמר עלי' ולבי ער אשר לעולם יש נקודה פנימית בלב איש ישראל אשר הש"י שם בהם בטבעיות נפשם.

And in truth, of this point it is said "but my heart is awake" — that there is always an inner point in the heart of a Yid which Hashem placed within them in the very nature of their soul.

The "wakeful heart" is the eternal nekudah penimis (inner point) that Hashem implanted in the very essence of every Jewish soul, which never sleeps.

ואא"ז מו"ר ז"ל פי' המד' לקח טוב נתתי לכם כו' כי הש"י נתן בלב איש ישראל רצון ליקח עצמו לעבודתו ית'.

And my grandfather, my teacher, of blessed memory, explained the Midrash "A good acquisition (lekach tov) I have given you" (Mishlei 4:2) — that Hashem placed in the heart of a Yid a will to take himself toward His service.

His grandfather (the Chiddushei HaRim) taught that the "good acquisition" is the implanted desire to take hold of oneself and devote oneself to avodas Hashem.

וזאת הלקיחה היא גם כן ממנו ית'.

And this "taking" too is from Him.

Even the very ability to take ourselves toward Hashem is itself a gift granted by Hashem.

ועפ"ז יש לפרש סיום דברי המדרש יש לך מקח יש בו כסף כו' זהב כו' כי יש בכח איש ישראל להשליך הכל כל הרצונות וכל המדות בעבור רצון הבורא.

And accordingly one may explain the conclusion of the Midrash: "you have an acquisition that has silver in it… gold in it…" — for it is within the power of a Yid to cast away everything, all desires and all middos, for the sake of the ratzon Hashem.

A Yid has the unique strength to give up all his wants and character traits entirely for the sake of Hashem's will.

והנה א' מהאומות עכו"ם אינו יכול לעשות זאת בשום אופן והוא רק בכח הבורא ששם בטבע איש הישראלי להימשך אחר הבורא ית'.

And behold, one of the gentile nations cannot do this in any way; it is only by the power of Hashem, who placed in the nature of the Yid to be drawn after Him.

No member of the nations can achieve such total self-surrender; only the Yid can, because Hashem ingrained in his nature the pull to be drawn after Him.

וזהו הוכחה שהלקיחה של איש ישראל הוא בכח הש"י.

And this is proof that the "taking" of a Yid is by the power of Hashem.

The very fact that only a Yid can do this proves that this capacity is a divinely implanted gift.

והרמב"ן ז"ל כ' כי בעניני עוה"ז אהבה ויראה הם דברים סותרים זא"ז כי ממי שאני ירא איני אוהבו.

And the Ramban wrote that in worldly matters, love and fear are contradictory to one another, for one whom I fear, I do not love.

In ordinary human life, ahavah (love) and yirah (fear) cannot coexist toward the same object — fear pushes away love.

ומי שאני אוהבו אינני ירא מפניו.

And one whom I love, I do not fear.

Likewise, love toward someone tends to dissolve fear of him.

זולת בעבודת הבורא מתאחדים כל המידות כו' ע"ש.

Except in the service of Hashem, where all the middos unite — see there.

Only in avodas Hashem do opposite traits like love and fear merge together harmoniously.

וזה פי' המד' יש בו כסף אין בו זהב כו'.

And this is the meaning of the Midrash: "it has silver in it but no gold in it…"

In worldly acquisitions one quality excludes another — silver without gold — representing how love and fear normally exclude one another.

אבל בעבודת הש"י מתאחדים כל המידות.

But in the service of Hashem, all the middos unite.

In serving Hashem, however, every quality — silver and gold, love and fear — can be held together as one.

וכ' וזאת התרומה אשר תקחו כו' פי' שהקב"ה אומר לפמליא. של מעלה שזאת הנדיבות והרצון שיהי' נמצא בלב איש ישראל שיהי' כלול מכל המידות פי' לבטל כל המידות בעבור הרצון לשמים שכן צריך להיות כמ"ש במלאכי עליון עושה שלום במרומיו שלעשות רצונו ית'.

And it is written "and this is the terumah that you shall take…" (Shemos 25:3) — meaning that Hashem says to the heavenly retinue (pamalya shel ma'alah) that this generosity and will found in the heart of a Yid should be inclusive of all the middos — that is, to nullify all the middos for the sake of the will toward Heaven, as it must be, as is said of the heavenly angels: "He makes peace in His heights" (Iyov 25:2) — that to do His will —

Hashem declares to the heavenly hosts that the generous will in a Yid's heart must encompass and subordinate all middos to the single ratzon for Hashem, just as among the malachim above peace is made between opposites.

עושין שלום ביניהם.

— they make peace among themselves.

The angels of opposing forces reconcile in order to carry out Hashem's will.

מים ואש כו'.

Water and fire (as in the malachim Michael and Gavriel).

Even the elemental opposites of water and fire coexist peacefully in the service of Hashem.

וכמו כן בנ"י נק' השולמית שכדי לעשות רצון הבורא מתבטל אצלם כל המידות.

And likewise Bnei Yisrael are called "the Shulamis" (the peaceful one), for in order to do the ratzon Hashem, all their middos become batel.

Bnei Yisrael, called "Shulamis" (from shalom), embody this peace — all their differing traits are nullified before the single will to serve Hashem.

וכשנתברר כך הרצון בלב איש ישראל מתקבל בשמים ומתרומם הרצון הזה לעלות לשמים כנ"ל.

And when the will in the heart of a Yid is clarified in this way, it is accepted in Heaven, and this will is elevated to rise to Heaven, as above.

When a Yid's will is purified into pure devotion to Hashem, it is "terumah" — lifted up and accepted on high.

ופשוט מאת כל שצריך האדם לרומם הראשית מכל דבר קטן וגדול להש"י ועי"ז מתרוממים כל המעשים להש"י.

And it is plain that "from every (man)" means a person must elevate the first and best of every matter, small and great, to Hashem, and through this all his deeds are elevated to Hashem.

Terumah ("raising up") teaches that by dedicating the choicest first portion of everything to Hashem, all of one's actions are thereby uplifted.

וזה יכול להיות נמצא בכל איש ישראל לזכור בהשי"ת בכל מעשה עכ"פ איזהו משהו לתת להבורא ית'.

And this can be found in every Yid — to remember Hashem in every deed, at least to give some small bit to Hashem.

Every person, on his own level, can keep Hashem in mind in all he does and dedicate at least a small portion to Him.

וע"ז אמרו חכמים חטה אחת פוטרת הכרי:

And concerning this Chazal said: "a single grain of wheat exempts the whole pile" (Chullin 137b).

Just as one grain set aside as terumah sanctifies the entire heap, so dedicating even a small point to Hashem elevates all of one's deeds.

Summary: Even while Bnei Yisrael "slept" in the cheit of the Eigel, their inner heart stayed awake — the eternal nekudah penimis that Hashem implanted in every Jewish soul. The call for terumah reveals that every Yid has an innate generosity toward Hashem and the unique, divinely-granted power to give up all his desires and middos for the ratzon Hashem. Unlike worldly love and fear which exclude one another, in avodas Hashem all opposing middos unite in peace — as among the malachim and as in Bnei Yisrael, the "Shulamis." By dedicating the choicest first portion (even a small "bit") of everything to Hashem, all one's deeds are elevated, just as a single grain of terumah sanctifies the whole pile.