The Torah engraved on the heart stays awake

במדרש אני ישנה ולבי ער כו'.

In the Midrash: "I am asleep, but my heart is awake..." (Shir HaShirim 5:2).

The Sefas Emes opens with the Midrash on this passuk, which describes a state where the outer person slumbers yet an inner core remains awake.

שזכו אחר החטא להשראת השכינה בכח החקיקה שבלב.

That they merited, after the sin, to the resting of the Shechinah by virtue of the engraving upon the heart.

Even after the sin of the Golden Calf, Yisrael still merited the Shechinah's indwelling in the Mishkan — because the Torah received at Sinai had been "engraved" upon their hearts and could not be erased.

שקיבלו בקבלת התורה.

Which they received at the receiving of the Torah.

This engraving on the heart was implanted at mattan Torah.

דאיתא לב מתנה זו התורה שהיא מתנה בלבו של אדם.

For it is taught: "leiv matanah" (a heart, a gift) — this is the Torah, which is a gift in the heart of man.

Chazal read a hint that the Torah is a "gift" given specifically into a person's heart, not merely his mind.

וז"ש במד' תנחומא שנק' לקח טוב כי כל סחורה צריכה שמירה שלא תאבד.

And this is what the Midrash Tanchuma says, that [the Torah] is called "lekach tov" (a good acquisition/merchandise), for all merchandise requires guarding lest it be lost.

The Torah is described as precious merchandise (lekach tov); ordinary goods can be stolen or lost and need safekeeping.

והתורה נשמרת בלבו של אדם.

And the Torah is guarded in the heart of man.

Unlike ordinary merchandise, the Torah's safekeeping is internal — engraved in the heart, where it cannot be taken away.

וע"ז אמרו עבירה מכבה מצוה ואינה מכבה תורה מים רבים לא יוכלו לכבות כו'.

And concerning this they said: a sin extinguishes a mitzvah but does not extinguish Torah — "many waters cannot extinguish [love]..." (Shir HaShirim 8:7).

The Gemara (Sotah 21a) teaches that while sin can dim the light of a mitzvah, it cannot extinguish the light of Torah engraved in the heart, for it is like a love that no flood of waters can quench.

וז"ש אני ישנ"ה רומז לשס"ה גידין.

And this is [the meaning of] "ani yesheinah" (I am asleep) — it alludes to the 365 sinews.

The Sefas Emes connects the numerical value of "yesheinah" to the 365 gidim (sinews) of the body, corresponding to the 365 prohibitions.

כי האברים והגידים הם התפשטות החיות שבאדם.

For the limbs and the sinews are the extension of the life-force within a person.

The body's limbs and sinews are the channels through which a person's inner vitality spreads outward.

וכן ברוחניות המצות מול האברים והגידים.

And likewise spiritually, the mitzvos correspond to the limbs and the sinews.

The 248 positive mitzvos parallel the 248 limbs and the 365 prohibitions parallel the 365 sinews — the mitzvos are the spiritual life-channels of the soul.

וע"י ביטול המצות אני ישנה שנסתמין הגידין והמשכת הדם מהלב דרך הגידים.

And through the neglect of mitzvos, "I am asleep" — for the sinews become blocked, [stopping] the flow of blood from the heart through the sinews.

When mitzvos are neglected, the spiritual "sinews" become clogged, and the life-blood ceases to flow from the heart outward — a state of spiritual sleep.

אבל התורה שהיא חקוקה בלב.

But the Torah, which is engraved in the heart —

The Torah, however, is not in the outer "sinews" but engraved in the heart itself, the source.

לעולם ער בכח קול דודי דופק שהוא התורה והקול ששמענו בהר סיני.

— is forever awake, by the power of "the voice of my Beloved knocks" (Shir HaShirim 5:2) — which is the Torah, the voice that we heard at Mount Sinai.

Even when the limbs sleep, the heart stays awake because the voice of the Beloved — the sound of the Torah heard at Sinai — continually knocks within it.

והלא דברים ק"ו בכל יום ב"ק יוצאת מהר חורב כו'.

And is this not a kal va'chomer? Every day a bas kol (heavenly voice) goes forth from Mount Chorev...

The Mishnah (Avos 6:2) teaches that a heavenly echo of Sinai goes out daily; the Sefas Emes uses this to support that the Sinai voice is perpetually present.

לפי ששם קיבלו התורה.

Because there [at Sinai] they received the Torah.

The daily heavenly voice emanates from Chorev precisely because that is where the Torah was given.

מכש"כ שזה הקול מתעורר בנפש איש ישראל שכולם שמעו הקול.

All the more so that this voice is awakened within the soul of every Jew, for all of them heard the voice [at Sinai].

If a heavenly voice goes out generally, certainly it stirs within each Jew's own soul — for every soul of Yisrael was present and heard the voice at Sinai.

והי' מיוחד להם.

And it was special to them.

That voice was given uniquely to Yisrael and is implanted permanently within them.

וע"ז כ' אשר אנכי מצוך היום בכל יום.

And concerning this it is written, "which I command you this day" (Devarim) — [meaning] every day.

Chazal read "ha'yom" (this day) to mean that the Torah should be felt as if commanded freshly each and every day, because the Sinai voice never ceases.

ולכן גם אחר החטא אותה הרשימה לא שקטה.

And therefore even after the sin, that imprint did not fall silent.

Because the Torah's voice is engraved permanently in the heart, even after the chet ha'eigel that inner imprint (reshimah) remained active.

ודופק בלבם.

And it knocks within their hearts.

The "voice of the Beloved" keeps knocking within the hearts of Yisrael, calling them back.

עד שחזרו בתשובה.

Until they returned in teshuvah.

This inner knocking ultimately roused Yisrael to do teshuvah after the sin.

וזכו לבנין המשכן:

And they merited the building of the Mishkan.

Through that teshuvah, awakened by the Torah engraved in their hearts, they merited the Shechinah's return and the building of the Mishkan — the theme of parshas Terumah.

Summary: "I am asleep but my heart is awake" describes Yisrael after the sin of the Calf: though the outer "limbs and sinews" — the realm of mitzvos — could be dulled by sin, the Torah engraved upon the heart at Sinai can never be extinguished, like a love that many waters cannot quench. The voice of the Beloved heard at Sinai keeps knocking within every Jew's heart, daily and perpetually, and it was this enduring inner imprint that roused Yisrael to teshuvah and enabled them to merit the building of the Mishkan and the return of the Shechinah.