Turning only upward, even in darkness

והמד' פי' רק למעלה שאפי' בזמן החושך שאין זוכין לשאול למעלה מ"מ לא יהי' שואל למטה.

And the Midrash explains "only above," that even in a time of darkness, when one does not merit to inquire above, nevertheless one should not inquire below.

Even when a Yid is in spiritual darkness and cannot receive an answer from Above, he must still never turn to forbidden "lower" sources for guidance.

כמו שהי' לשאול שהי' זמן חושך ולילה ע"ש במד'.

As it was with Shaul, for it was a time of darkness and night — see there in the Midrash.

Shaul HaMelech's turning to the necromancer happened in just such an hour of darkness and despair.

אעפ"כ איש ישראל אין לו מקום רק למעלה ולא למטה.

Even so, a Yid has no place to turn except above, and not below.

No matter the darkness, a Yid's only true address is Hashem above, never the forces below.

ויש לרמוז והיית לשון נהייתי ונחליתי.

And one can hint that "v'hayisa" is an expression of "nih'yeisi" (I was undone) and "nechleisi" (I became sick) (compare Daniel 8:27).

The word "v'hayisa" can be read as a language of being broken and laid low — even in such a fallen state, the lesson holds.

אפ"ה רק למעלה ולא למטה.

Even then — only above, and not below.

Even when a person is utterly broken, he must still look only upward to Hashem and never downward.

וז"ש גמלתהו טוב ולא רע שבנ"י לעולם אין להם התחברות לרע.

And this is the meaning of "she does him good and not evil" (Mishlei 31:12), for Bnei Yisrael never have a connection to evil (ra).

By their very nature, a Yid has no real bond with evil — his essence is tied only to the good.

כל ימי חייך לרבות הלילות ובגלות אעפ"כ אין לנו מלך עוזר כו' אלא אתה.

"All the days of your life" (Devarim 16:3) — to include the nights, and the galus; even so, "we have no king, helper... but You."

Even in the "nights" of exile, when Hashem seems hidden, Bnei Yisrael declare that He alone is their King and helper.

ומ"מ שאול תיקן החטא במה שמסר נפשו להלוך למלחמה שכיון שראה שהי' כן רצונו ית' שירד למלחמה למות.

And nevertheless Shaul rectified the sin in that he gave over his life to go out to the war, for since he saw that it was the ratzon (will) of Hashem, yisborach, that he go down to the battle to die.

Shaul made amends for his sin through mesirus nefesh — going into battle knowing it was Hashem's will that he die there.

כיון שלא השיבו באו"ת והי' הולך למלחמה לולי שאלת האוב.

Since He did not answer him through the Urim v'Tumim, and he was going to the war anyway — were it not for the consulting of the ov (necromancer).

Hashem's silence through the Urim v'Tumim signaled the decree; aside from his lapse in consulting the necromancer, Shaul accepted his fate and went to war.

לכן הלך אח"כ ולא רצה להציל עצמו ע"י תחבולות האוב וכמ"ש הן יקטלני לו איחל.

Therefore he went afterward and did not wish to save himself through the devices of the ov, as is written, "though He slay me, yet will I hope (lo ayachel) in Him" (Iyov 13:15).

Shaul refused to use forbidden means to escape the decree, embodying Iyov's words of trusting Hashem even unto death.

ויש קרי וכתיב לא באלף פי' לא איחל למצוא לי דרכים והצלות ממקומות אחרים.

And there is a kri and kesiv: "lo" with an aleph (לא, "not") — meaning, "I will not hope/seek (lo ayachel) to find for myself ways and rescues from other places."

Read with the aleph, the phrase means a refusal to look for deliverance through any illicit "other place" — only Hashem.

וכמ"ש בכל נפשך אפי' נוטל א"נ [ועיין בסוטה במשנה ד' כ"ז ע"ב דדרשו איוב עבד באהבה דכתי' לו איחל כו' ועדיין א"י אם לו אצפה אם לא אצפה כו' ונדחק רש"י ז"ל לפרש שמרד איוב מתוך היסורי מות.

As is said, "with all your soul" (Devarim 6:5) — even if He takes your soul. [And see in Sotah, in the Mishnah, daf 27b, that they expounded that Iyov served out of love, as it is written, "in Him will I hope (lo ayachel)"; and still it is uncertain whether it means "for Him (lo with a vav) I will hope" or "I will not hope (lo with an aleph)"; and Rashi, of blessed memory, was forced to explain that Iyov rebelled out of the agonies of death.

Serving "with all your soul" means even at the cost of your life; the bracketed discussion weighs the ambiguous reading of "lo ayachel" in Sotah and Rashi's strained explanation.

וזה דוחק שהרי אמר זה לשבח על עצמו.

And this is forced, since he said this in praise of himself.

The Sefas Emes objects that Rashi's reading is difficult, because Iyov stated this as something praiseworthy about himself, not as rebellion.

ותו א"כ אינו עובד מיראה ג"כ.

And furthermore, if so, he is not serving out of fear (yirah) either.

Moreover, on Rashi's reading Iyov would be serving neither out of love nor out of fear — which is problematic.

איברא דברש"י פ' ואתחנן איתא ג"כ העובד מיראה כשמטריחו יותר מדאי הולך לו ועמ"ש שם.

Indeed, in Rashi on Parshas Va'eschanan it is likewise stated that one who serves out of fear, when He burdens him too much, departs — and see what is written there.

The Sefas Emes notes a parallel idea in Rashi on Va'eschanan, that fear-based service may give way under excessive suffering.

אבל לפמ"ש לעיל א"ש בפשיטות דלא איחל שלא יחפש לו דרך הצלה שיודע שכל א' חפץ ה' כן יהי' והוא מיראה.

But according to what was written above, it is resolved simply: that "lo ayachel" means he will not seek for himself a way of rescue, for he knows that whatever Hashem desires, so it shall be — and this is out of fear (yirah).

Reading "lo" with an aleph, Iyov's statement is straightforward yiras Shomayim: he will not chase after escape, accepting that Hashem's will be done.

ולו איחל בוא"ו הוא לקבל המיתה באהבה רבה כנ"ל פשוט ונכון במשנה הנ"ל]:

And "lo ayachel" with a vav (לו, "for Him") means to accept death with great love (ahavah rabbah), as above — simple and correct in the aforementioned Mishnah.]

Read with the vav, the phrase expresses serving out of love — accepting even death lovingly — so both readings together capture service from both yirah and ahavah.

Summary: Even in a time of darkness when Heaven gives no answer, a Yid must turn only upward to Hashem and never to forbidden "lower" sources, for Bnei Yisrael have no real bond with evil. Shaul HaMelech rectified his sin of consulting the necromancer through mesirus nefesh, going to a war he knew was Hashem's decree. Reading Iyov's "lo ayachel" both ways — with an aleph (refusing to seek illicit rescue, out of yirah) and with a vav (accepting death with ahavah) — expresses serving Hashem from both fear and love.