Teshuvah from love turns sins to merits

בגמ' גדולה תשובה שזדונות נעשו כזכיות כו' כשגגות כו' כאן מאהבה כאן מיראה.

In the Gemara: "Great is teshuvah, for intentional sins (zedonos) become like merits (zechuyos)… [and elsewhere] like unintentional errors (shegagos)… here it is teshuvah from ahavah (love), there it is from yirah (fear)" (Yoma 86b).

The Sefas Emes opens with the Gemara's two statements about teshuvah — that deliberate sins are turned into merits, or alternatively into mere accidents — resolved by distinguishing repentance out of love from repentance out of fear.

ביאור הענין עפ"י פלוגתא דאיתא בגמ' חד אמר נושא וחד אמר כובש.

The explanation of the matter is according to a dispute brought in the Gemara: one says "nosei" (He bears/lifts away sin), and one says "koveish" (He suppresses).

He grounds the explanation in a Gemara dispute over how Hashem deals with sin — one view says He "lifts away" the sin, the other that He "presses it down."

ומסתמא הכל אמת לפי השבים.

And presumably both are true, depending on the penitents.

Both opinions are correct: which mechanism applies depends on the kind of teshuvah the person does.

דלפעמים מתעורר האדם בתשובה ע"י היראה מעוצם קלקולים שנעשה על ידי החטאים ומתחרט מאוד על מעשה החטא.

For sometimes a person is aroused to teshuvah through yirah — from the enormity of the damage caused by the sins — and he greatly regrets the act of the sin.

One path to teshuvah is fear: a person, horrified by the destruction his sins have wrought, comes to deep remorse over the very act of sinning.

וכמו כן נחלש למעלה הפגם שנעשה מהחטא וזה נושא עון שהחטא נעשה קל כשגגות.

And correspondingly, the blemish (pegam) created above by the sin is weakened — and this is "nosei avon" (bearing/lifting the sin), that the sin becomes light, like an unintentional error.

Teshuvah from fear weakens the spiritual blemish the sin caused on high; this is "lifting away" the sin, reducing a deliberate transgression to the level of an accident — the version where zedonos become like shegagos.

ולפעמים מתעורר האדם בתשובה ע"י אהבה שמתפעל איך בכח אדם במעשים טובים לעשות נ"ר למענה ועי"ז מתחרט על החטא שעי"ז אין בכחו להתדבק בתורת ה' ומצותיו.

And sometimes a person is aroused to teshuvah through ahavah — for he is stirred by how it is within a person's power, through good deeds, to give nachas ruach (satisfaction) to Hashem — and through this he regrets the sin, since because of it he lacks the power to cleave to the Torah of Hashem and His mitzvos.

The other path is love: a person, moved by the wondrous fact that his good deeds can bring Hashem joy, regrets his sins precisely because they had robbed him of the ability to cling to Torah and mitzvos.

ואז הזכיות והמעשים טובים שעשה עד עתה כמו שהם חשובים בעיניו ומתפעל בהם כך מתעלין למעלה כי כל הנהגה שלמעלה תלוי ברצון האדם למטה.

And then the merits and good deeds that he has done until now — just as they are precious in his eyes and he is stirred by them — so too they are elevated above, for all conduct above depends on the ratzon (will) of a person below.

When teshuvah comes from love, the value a person now places on his past good deeds causes those very deeds to be raised up on high — because Heaven's response always mirrors a person's inner will below.

וזה כובש שכף הזכיות מתעלה ומתגדל ומכריע.

And this is "koveish" — that the scale-pan of merits is elevated and grows and tips the balance.

This is the meaning of "koveish": the pan of merits rises, expands, and outweighs the sins — the merits gain such force that they dominate the scale.

וממילא כיון שע"י החטאים בא לתשובה ועי"ז התעורר אהבה למצות ה' והוסיף כח בהזכיות. נמצא ממש זדונות נעשין כמו זכיות שעי"ז הוסיף כח ועוז בהזכיות כנ"ל:

And consequently, since it was through the sins that he came to teshuvah, and through this an ahavah for the mitzvos of Hashem was awakened, and he added strength to the merits — it turns out that, literally, the intentional sins become like merits, since through them he added power and might to the merits, as stated above.

Because the sins themselves were the catalyst that drove him to teshuvah and ignited his love for mitzvos — thereby strengthening all his merits — the very transgressions are transformed into merits: they actively contributed the added force that now tips the scale in his favor.

Summary: The Gemara's two statements about teshuvah correspond to its two motivations. Teshuvah from fear "lifts away" the sin, weakening the blemish so that deliberate transgressions become mere accidents. Teshuvah from love, however, elevates a person's past good deeds — since Heaven mirrors one's inner will — and because the sins themselves sparked this love and added strength to his merits, the very zedonos are literally transformed into zechuyos.